6 Pieces of Advice From My Dad

Dad & Me, circa 1980

Father's Day is tomorrow and I feel compelled to focus on the fact that my dad has a lot of amazing qualities that he's passed along to my sisters and me. Dad is our own personal Yoda, because whenever we had questions growing up, he always had an answer that made him seem omnipotent. If I take nothing else away from my life, the following 6 pieces of advice are gems that anyone can learn from. (There are a lot more than 6 but I had to narrow it down!)

1. Stand Up For What You Believe In (Even If Everyone Else Thinks It's Silly) - My dad doesn't care what my beliefs are as long as I believe in them with conviction. He taught me to be willing to fight for what I feel is right and encouraged me to vocalize my opinions, even the crazy ones. Although he doesn't always agree, he supports me without judgement when he knows I feel strongly about something.

Dad being silly

2. Question Everything - I got sent home with a note once in the 3rd Grade because Mrs. Huth said I was failing math and that I never asked questions in class. My dad asked why I didn't question anything in class if I didn't understand the subject and I told him I was afraid the other kids would think I was stupid. He taught me I couldn't learn unless I questioned what I didn't understand or agree with. Learning comes from questioning, even when they're hard questions.

My First Communion, circa 1984-85

3. Prioritize/Do The Tough Stuff First - We grew up on a farm and had daily chores that had to be completed before we could do fun stuff like riding our bikes or playing with our friends. I hated watering the livestock because I had to fill a 5 gallon pail with water and lug it to the pigpen and the chicken coop. I would procrastinate to the point that my sisters wouldn't be allowed to play until MY chores were finished. Dad would explain that when he had a list of things that had to be done, he would pick the chores he liked the least and do them first so they were out of the way. Then the rest of the list wouldn't seem so bad. I am a firm believer in this even today!

Dad - Ice Storm - circa 1990

4. Money Doesn't Grow On Trees - We grew up poor, but never truly wanting. Whenever we would go to the store with our parents we would "want" everything...candy, dolls, sparklers, popsicles. Dad would always ask "Did you bring your wallet?". We never did, but we learned that "wanting" and "needing" were not one and the same. Collecting thousands of Japanese Beetles from mom's roses at a penny apiece was a tough and time consuming way to buy a doll, but it taught us restraint.

Frosty Treat gave the BEST milkshake bellyaches!

5. Indulge Yourself, But Don't Overindulge - Dad is a big fan of "treats". Mostly ice cream cones and milkshakes (we are all lactose-intolerant which meant mom wouldn't let us have dairy). But if we worked with dad and we worked hard, we were sure to get a reward from Hall's Ice Cream or Frosty Treat Drive In (which was actually a "walk-up"). The downside to too much ice cream is of course a bellyache. When you're lactose-intolerant, it's way worse! Lesson learned.

Dad & Me, 2010

6. Life Isn't Fair, Deal With It - My dad's favorite quote whenever we declared that something was wrong or not fair was, "And THEN, depression set in." (Bill Murray, Stripes). This was dad's way of saying, life isn't fair. Deal with it. When my sister decapitated my Barbie, "Life isn't fair". When my sister got Walkie Talkies for Christmas and I didn't, "Life isn't fair." We quickly learned that no matter how long we sulked about life being unfair, it didn't change the "injustice" we were facing unless we changed our attitudes about it.

What’s the best piece of advice your dad (or another father figure) gave YOU? 

Allison B. Kontur

www.BathBodySupply.com